Revenge of the Blue Banana
by Obi the Kid
Summary: Pre-TPM, Obi has another run in with the intoxicating blue fruit. Sequel to "The Blue Banana"


Title: Revenge of the Blue Banana  
Author: Obi the Kid (hlnkid@aol.com)  
Rating: PG  
Summary: Pre-TPM, (Obi is 16). The blue banana strikes again...think, Drunk Obi.  
Feedback: Yep!  
Archive: Please ask me first.  
NOTES: This is for Bant_Eerin!!!! Who inspired the original Blue Banana. Thanks Bant!!!  
DISCLAIMER: The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. The characters not recognizable from this venue are copyrighted to Tracy C. Knight. The story is the intellectual property of Tracy C. Knight and is copyrighted to her. She makes no profit from the  
writing or distribution of this story.  
  
==========================  
Revenge of the Blue Banana  
==========================  
(Obi-Wan, Reeft, Bant and Garen were given permission to have a slumber party in the apartment that Bant and her Master shared. The Masters decided that a little free time was in order for all of the young apprentices.)  
  
Bant: Okay guys, who's up for a little snack?  
  
Garen: No way Bant, you know you can't cook.   
  
Bant: Shut up Garen, I can too. But this is not something you cook. It's a fruit. And it makes you feel like the happiest little padawan in the temple. You've got to try it.  
  
Obi: Oh no. This is not what I think it is. Is it?  
  
Reeft: Hey, I need to relax a bit. I'm game...what is it?  
  
(Bant leaves for a minute then returns with an armful of the snack in question.)  
  
Obi: Oh no.  
  
Bant: Blue Banana's. They are sooooo good. Try one Reeft.  
  
(Reeft and Garen both began eating away at the fruit. Obi, at first, was reluctant to join, before eventually being persuaded. Not long after, all 4 padawans were feeling the intoxicating effects.)  
  
Bant: Hey Obiiiiiiii? Told ya they were goooooooooood...mmmmmmmmmm  
  
Obi: Bant? I seeeeee youuuuuuuuu. Why do you have 2 heads?   
  
Garen: Only 2? I see 3 of you Obiiii..hahaha? Whoa man, this stuff is wild. Reefy? Where are youuuuuuuuuuu?  
  
Bant: Hang on boyzzzzz...there are more of these in the kitchen...woooooooo...yummmmmmm...want summmmmmm more?  
  
Obi: Sure...why not? Can anyone tell me my name, I seem to have misplaced it, and I need to knowwwwww what it is so Master can find meeeeeeeee.  
  
Garen: Wobi-Wan Bakobi. Jedi Paddywand to Master Wui-gonnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...he is so tall. WOW!! I can see my fingers...see Obiiiiiiii? Look...they move...hehehehehehe....  
  
(The students continued their experiment for the next hour or so, then Obi realized that he needed to go home.)  
  
Obi: I can't stay Baaaaaant. Jinny will be soooooooo lonely. He's my Master you know. I like him. And I like you and Karen and Raft too...you are my frenz. Can you help me up? I think my legs are missing.  
  
Bant: You got legs Obiiiiiii...3 of them...you beeeee okay walking home alone?  
  
Obi: Bant please? I'm...um...wait...yeah...I'm 16 now...only 3 legs? When did I lose one? Damn...Qui-Qui gonna be mad at meeeeeeeee...mmmmmmmmmm...ok...m'going home now...by my frenz...be good.  
  
Reeft: Byeeeeeeeee Bakobi...I'm gonna sleep right here. Night. (He collapses, his head landing right on Garens feet.) Ouch! Your feet hurt Karen.  
  
Garen: Raft...git off my feet...can't move...bye Obo. Say hi to Gui-Jon for meeeeeee. Oh man, I need a drink.  
  
Bant: Beeeee careful Obiiiiii...I loveeeeeeee youuuuuuuuuuu.   
  
(Obi staggers down the hall, eventually finding his way to he and Qui-Gon's apartment. He tries to be quiet so as not to wake his Master, but...it was not to be.)  
  
Qui: Problem Padawan? (The Master was standing in the doorway to Obi's bedroom, blocking his entrance.)  
  
Obi: No siree bob. No problem at all. I'm just dandy. How 'bout you?  
  
Qui: Bob? Dandy? You've been drinking haven't you?  
  
Obi: Who me? Never Jinny. You told me not to drink...I would never ever never do sumthen you don't want me to.   
  
Qui: Then why are you acting like a fool?  
  
Obi: HAHAHAHA!!! You're so funny Qui. You make me laugh.  
  
Qui: Obi-Wan? What have you been drinking?  
  
Obi: Nuttin' at all Master Jinn. I am a good paddywand. Don't drink. Nope, not me. I am da good pad.  
  
Qui: Sit Padawan. NOW!  
  
Obi: You da Master!  
  
(Obi flops onto the couch. Qui-Gon sits next to him.)  
  
Qui: If you didn't drink anything, why are you acting this way?  
  
Obi: Ooooooooooooooooooooooh...that's easy...bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuu banana....hehehehehe...it's gooooooooooooood. Rant gave us sum.  
  
Qui: Rant? Ah, Bant. She gave you Blue Banana's? And did she eat them as well?  
  
Obi: Yuuuup she suuuuure did. And so did Karen and Raft.  
  
Qui: Karen and Raft?  
  
Obi: Yah. Karen and Raft are my frenzzzzzzzz.   
  
Qui: So all 4 of you are drunk?  
  
Obi: Hehehe...yup...we sure are...Look Jinny, I have one for you too...(Obi hands one of the blue fruits to his Master.)  
  
Qui: Thank you Obi-Wan. Now, why would you eat this if you know what the effects are?  
  
Obi: Just having fun Qui. Lighten up my man. You are so straight sometimes. Jeez!! Oh no...  
  
Qui: What?  
  
Obi: Obi feels sick. I think I'm gonna...uh oh...  
  
(Qui picks Obi up and rushes him into the bathroom...just in time. After Obi finishes throwing up what he had eaten, they head back to the common area and sat on the couch once more.)  
  
Qui: You feel rotten now don't you?  
  
Obi: Yup. Obi's been bad. I'm da bad pad. Can I go to sleep now?  
  
Qui: Not until you tell me why you did this?  
  
Obi: Just trying to fit in Qui. Have fun with my frenzzzzz is all...you don't know how to have fun...doooooo youuuuuuuuuu?   
  
Qui: I do, but I must contain myself. I have an apprentice to train.  
  
Obi: Really? Who? When did this happen? Pleeeeeeease don't give me up.  
  
Qui: Obi-Wan, I am talking about you.   
  
Obi: Oh, well, I feel like an idiot now don't I? Hehehehehe...I like you Masterrrrrrr...you're so tall...  
  
Qui: Obi-Wan? Perhaps we should talk about this tomorrow? You are not yourself this evening.  
  
(Obi moves closer to his Master, and leans towards him, using his shoulder as a pillow.)  
  
Obi: 'K...night Master.  
  
Qui: You do have a bed padawan. You should sleep there.   
  
Obi: You are more comfy. And you have looooooooooooooong hair tooooooooo....you must be old to have grown hair this long. And it's got gray in it. Hahaha...Master getting' gray...to many paddywands I think. You need a break from them. I got the tallest Master in the universe. You're a nice guy Qui. You just need to loosen up. Nice guy Qui. That rhymes. Mmmmm...my head hurts Master.   
  
Qui: And it will for the next day or so. This is what happens when you do stupid things. Now, come on, get up and into bed with you.  
  
Obi: Not movin' man. Nope...not gonna duuu it. Hehehe...bluuuuuuuuu...it makes you happyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!! You wanna be happy don't ya Jinny? Hmmm...you think I'll make a good Knight? I think I am ready. I pronounce myself...Knight Wobi Bakobi...hahaha...Wobi!!! Oh man...I am soooooooooo funny.   
  
Qui: Yes you are hysterical padawan. However, I don't think you are quite ready to be a Knight. Perhaps tomorrow. Right now, you need to go to bed.  
  
Obi: I love you Master.  
  
Qui: I love you too padawan, but you are still going to bed.  
  
Obi: Don't wanna go to bed Qui...wanna stay with youuuuuuuuu. You're lonely. You need a fren. Obi will be your fren. Can we go home Master?   
  
Qui: Obi-Wan are your friends okay? They are not wandering around the temple like this are they?  
  
Obi: Frenz? I don't have any frenz Qui, cept for youuuuuuuuu.  
  
Qui: Reeft and Garen? Are they okay?  
  
Obi: Reeft and Garen...I don't know them Jinny...are you pulling my leg again...you are a funny guy sometimes, have I ever told you that before?  
  
Qui: Yes you did, just a few minutes ago. You don't know Reeft and Garen?  
  
Obi: Nope! Wait...I know a Raft and Karen. But they are drunk toooooooooooo...Woooooooooo...my head is spinning now...watch it spinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...Master Jinny? Is Yoda really a Sith? Cause I have heard rumors. Master Bren was talking about it...she's a nutty girl...I like her Qui...you should date her. You need to get out more anyway. Live a little.  
  
Qui: I have my hands full with you. You require all my attention, otherwise things like this happen.  
  
Obi: Like what? I am not drunk...just a bit...um...tipsy? Hahaha...Yoda is a Sith...that's sooooooo funny. She cracks me up.  
  
Qui: Obi-Wan, Yoda is NOT a Sith. You cannot go around repeating everything that Master Bren says.   
  
(By this time...Obi was leaning heavily on his Master. His eyes floating back and forth.)  
  
Obi: Hehehe...Sith Trollllllllll...that's why he talks funny...hehehe...but he's green? What's up with that? WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Qui: That was interesting.   
  
Obi: Obi is a happy guy right now. I got my Master Jinny here, and you won't ever leave me will youuuuuuu? Nope, never ever...I need drugs.  
  
Qui: For your head?  
  
Obi: My head is going to explode...I can feel it slowly expanding. What if it pops off?  
  
Qui: Your head is not going to pop off Obi-Wan. I can promise you that. And besides, I can't have a headless Padawan running around the temple. What would the other Masters say?  
  
Obi: They say...man...that Jinny, he's a good guy. Keeps his apprent...app...appren...teecess...apprenteeeee...keeps his students even after they their heads pop off. What a guy! My Master.  
  
Qui: If I let you sleep here tonight, will you actually sleep?  
  
Obi: Yuppers! Sure will...but only if youuuuuuuu stay with meeeeeeeeeeee.  
  
Qui: This is not very comfortable for me on the couch.  
  
Obi: You stay and Obi sleeps. Is it a deal?   
  
(Qui can only shake his head. He knows he's lost this one.)  
  
Qui: Okay. I'll stay with you. But you will sleep.  
  
Obi: K...night Qui. Looooooove youuuuuuuuuu.  
  
(With in 40 seconds, Obi was out cold. Qui put an arm around him and settled in for the night.)  
===========  
(Next morning, Obi awakes to find himself sprawled across the couch. His Master is not with him. He tries to lift his head, then stops when the weight and fogginess overtake him.)  
  
Obi: Mmmph..ooooooohh...Masser...Mas...umph...I feel like bantha barf.  
  
(He is startled by a voice above him.)  
  
Qui: You look worse than that. How did you say you feel?  
  
Obi: Like bantha...nevermind.  
  
Qui: Do stupid things padawan, and you pay the price. You know to stay away from Blue Banana's now don't you?  
  
Obi: Mmmm...oh yeah. Please don't talk to loud Master. Can you turn the lights off please?  
  
Qui: No, the lights are staying on. And you will be getting up. I will not force you to go to classes today, but you will be doing extra meditation. It will help you to find yourself again.  
  
Obi: I don't want to find myself...just want to sleep for a week.  
  
Qui: No can do padawan. Up and at em. Come on. (He pulls Obi up by the arm, then watches as the boy tries to stay on his feet.  
  
Obi: Master? This is mean. I don't feel well. What are you doing?  
  
Qui: Teaching you a lesson. We are going to have fun today. You told me last night that I need to lighten up, right?  
  
Obi: Uh...I guess...I did. Did I say that?   
  
Qui: You sure did. So, we are meeting Master Bren at the 10 hour and heading into town for the Republic Festival. It'll be fun. Crowds, food, noise...just what you need.  
  
Obi: No...I need the bathroom...(he took off towards the bathroom, as fast as he unsteady legs would take him. A few minutes later, he shuffled back out.)  
  
Qui: Good thing you haven't eaten anything since last night, or you would've been in there longer. Okay, get changed...lets go.  
  
Obi: Master please don't make me go. I'm sorry for my decision last night. I admit it was stupid and I will never do it again. Don't make me go.  
  
Qui: Come on boy, it'll be good for you to get out. Fresh air can do wonders for one's mind. And you will not be alone in your suffering...Bant, Reeft and Garen will also be going. This will be fun...Wobi Bakobi!!  
  
Obi: Wobi Bakobi? I don't wanna know.  
  
Qui: Oh you don't want to know about your friends Karen and Raft? Or the fact that you think Yoda is a Sith? Or that you called me Jinny all night?  
  
(Obi bit his bottom lip and raised his eyebrows.)  
  
Obi: Um...I don't remember any of that Master. I do apologize if I said or did anything that I should not have done. I was a bit out of it I guess.  
  
Qui: No permanent damage. But, we are still going. Come on.  
  
Obi: But Master, my tunic is all wrinkled. I can't be seen like this. I have a reputation to uphold. As do you. What would someone say if they saw me like this?  
  
Qui: That I had lost my mind again. Nothing new padawan. It's almost 10, let's be off.  
  
(Qui, dragging his padawan behind him, met up with the other Masters and their padawans, and Master Bren. They all headed into the main part of the city to take in the festival. Bant, Reeft and Garen looked like mirror images of Obi as they forced themselves to keep up with the crowds. Wrinkled clothes, uncombed hair, bags under the eyes.)  
  
Reeft: Oh man, my head is still spinning. This is all your fault Bant.   
  
Bant: My fault. I didn't force you to eat those things, I only offered them. You guys started stuffing your faces before I could get another word out. It's my fault you couldn't contain yourselves?  
Obi is the only one who gave it any thought.   
  
Obi: Yeah, and see where that got me. I don't ever want so see another piece of fruit as long as I live. Got that Bant? I'd never heard of a blue banana until you started chasing me around the temple with one. What possessed me to try that thing? All mushy and brown spots all over it. Can I claim temporary insanity?  
  
Bant: Jeez you guys are grumpy when you're hung over. You're just mad cause you couldn't handle your liquor is all. Boys! Who needs em? I don't know why I hang out with you guys.  
  
Reeft: It's still your fault.  
  
Garen: Would you all SHUT UP!! My head is pounding as it is...I don't need you 3 arguing over whose fault it was and...just quiet PLEASE!!!! We were all stupid. Let's just leave it. Force!!!  
  
Bren: Kids, kids, kids...now, now...we must all learn to get along here. You were all stupid as Garen has said. Don't do stupid things, it'll will only tick off your masters. If you can't remember that...just think...deer rifle.   
  
Obi: HA! You crack me up Master Bren. You wanna be my Master? Mine is a little tough to figure out sometimes. He has issues.  
  
Bren: Thanks, but no thanks Obi. From what Qui-Gon has told me, you are a problem child, and have issues of your own. And besides, I have my eye on that Master of yours and you would just be in the way.  
  
Obi: Oh...um...okay.  
  
Bant: Hey guys look!! A fruit stand...and he's selling blue bananas!! Come on!  
  
(All 3 students grabbed Bant and pulled her away from the fruit stand.)  
  
Obi: Bant? You have a problem.   
  
Bant: But they are soooooooooo gooooooooooood.  
  
Obi: She's lost it. Gonna have to enter her in a 12 step program. BBA.   
  
Garen: BBA?  
  
Obi: Blue Banana's Anonymous.   
  
Bant: Just one moreeeeeeee Obiiiiiiii...let me gooooooooooo...  
  
(The Jedi continued through the streets, chasing down their friend Bant, every time they wandered past a fruit vendor. When finally they were all allowed to return home, each flaked out in their quarters...happy to be able to sleep off the rest of their hang overs. All except Obi, who was pulled out of bed and forced to sit at his Master's side on the floor of the balcony.)  
  
Qui: Meditation is good for the body and mind padawan. And will teach you how not to screw up like this again.  
  
Obi: Yes Master.  
  
Qui: Now, close your eyes and focus your mind.  
  
(Obi closed his eyes, fell backwards and within a few seconds was sound asleep on the floor.)  
  
Qui: A bit to focused I would say. It think this is the last time I will ever have a drunken padawan. Now, with the kid out of the way...I need to find out if Master Bren has plans this evening.  
  
END  



End file.
